Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They’re relentless.


I was walking by a dry-cleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said "Sorry, we’re closed." You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3a.m. and your a dry-cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey, I was here at 3 a.m. and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.".


I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member of the club, man. I dont know how I get away with it!


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