Yeah.

"You never talk to me or come see me."
you say that, but yet, when was the last time you came to see me? I remember exactly when it was. 2 and a half years ago. Just because I have a fucking car does not mean I have to be the one to go see you every time. If it's getting to you this much, get off the fucking Internet and come see me yourself.

No matter where you go, you are what you are playa'.
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer,
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here.

Tumblr? Or is that betrayal?

I want to be good at blogging.
I want to like things that I don't like at the moment.
I want to read more.
I want to cook more.
I want to drink more.
I want to talk more.
I want to be a better friend.
I want to be a good girl.
I want to have more money.
I want to appreciate what I have.
I want to appreciate who I have.
I want to understand more.
I want to know that we're going to be ok.
I want to know what you're thinking, all the time.
I want to be with you more.
I want to have a tumblr.
I want to be good at posting.
I want to be decisive.
I want to be more exciting.
I want to be more open.
I want to prove it.
I want to change.
I want you to see.
I want things to just go right for once.
I want everyone to understand.

I talk to God as much as I talk to Satan

'Cause, I want to hear both sides.
Does that make me cynical?
There are no miracles,
and this is no miraculous life.

Getting there.

It's been one of the worst weeks of my life, and I even feel bad complaining about it, because you weren't my loss. And to those who have lost you, I am genuinely sorry. You've heard this a thousand times, but a thousand and one never hurt anyone. You were my friend, I don't mean that. I just know there are more important people right now. It's all still so surreal. Aside from the tragedy itself, my best friend's face as he walked down the aisle, having to carry his girlfriend was the most horrifying image I have ever encountered, one which will never leave me, try as I may to escape from it. I'm proud of you, just so you know. Most people wouldn't have been able to do it. You stayed strong for her. Because of her. Nothing I can say will make this better. Which is shit, because making you feel better was the one thing I could always do. That's gone now. For how long? I don't know. Not too long, please. This is, after all, our last summer. She'd want us to enjoy it, just like she planned to. This is where we take over. We can fulfil the things she never got to.
Life is short, and often, shortened even further. You don't know when your last day is going to be. Live now, while you can. If someone means something to you, tell them now. However stupid it may be, because you don't know when you'll get another chance to. I'm infinitely sorry you had to be the example for us to live by, but hopefully now we can realise what we have, and learn to make the most of it. Going on, not moving on. Goodbye Ciara <3



This was like the only photo I could find of you alone, which says a lot about how selfless you were, really. Ily.

25 - 06 - 10

This helps, a bit. It's a bit bent. But I think it's nice. I hope it helps you too. I don't know if I believe in God and all that, I like to think it's all real. I like to think there's someone there to mind you now <3

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call;
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

I'll always miss you. x

It was over before it began.

fuck this.

The sky above us shoots to kill.

I struggle to believe you could actually be this selfish, yet I know I shouldn't be at all surprised. I can't see how this can ever be better. And with you not realising that you're are infinitely wrong in this situation, I know this is it. I have literally never known a more fickle person. I hate how close you both have grown. I hate how this is spreading, it's fucking cancerous. I hate how I've been replaced. I hate how you've said these exact words yourself, and can't see what a hypocrite you're being. I hate that what I say never fucking matters to you. I hate that for once you can't just see beyond your own fucking happiness. I hate that I believe if you knew what this was doing to me you'd stop, when I know that's complete bollocks. I hate that you still firmly believe you have the upper hand. I hate that this is probably the end. Bye.

I begged you to hear me, there's more than flesh and bones.
Let the dead bury the dead, they will come out in droves.
But take the spade from my hands and fill in the holes you've made.

Post geography bliss.

I literally could not have been luckier with the geography exam paper. Of all the towns in Ireland that could have been chosen for the aerial photograph and OS map extract, it was Carrick. Unbelievable. I think I could actually have done the questions on it from memory. Also, I completely risked that the use of magma to heat water in Iceland was an example of human interaction with the rock cycle. Which I'm beginning to question now. So if anyone knows if that counts, giz a shout. So relieved I never have to do it again.
I also got exceptionally lucky with English, despite panicking that having only studied 4 of the 8 poets, the other 4 might have come up. But I got to do Yeats in the end <3
Maths was a disaster though. If it doesn't redeem itself with paper 2 tomorrow there will be severe consequences. And unpleasant words exchanged between the paper and I.
Can't wait for Oxegen. S'pretty much the highlight of my summer, 25 days to go:
30 Seconds to Mars; Biffy Clyro; Plan B; Fatboy Slim; Scouting for Girls; Republic of Loose; Two Door Cinema Club; The Prodigy; Mumford & Sons; Kids in Glass Houses; Stereophonics and Eminem if he shows. Which he clearly won't, unfortch.

"I can hear through the walls in this place.
voices down the fire-escape; shadows on the stairwell.
No more anecdotes, no more whispered hope.
Take me to the rooftops,
A thousand blind windows stare back at me."

Proper post soon, I promise.

I woke early one day after a restless night
I watched the stars burst and fill the morning sky with light
In my hazy daze I noticed something on my bedroom floor
It was an envelope I don't think I had seen before
I opened with caution and in it did reside
A map and a note that said "join me inside"
I had nothing to do that day outside of my head
So I decided to just follow and see where it led
It led me to a door, I grabbed the handle and used it
Stood before me was the physical embodiment of music
I could barely believe my eyes, she was a sepia goddess
Every contour was perfection yet her demeanour was modest
Even armed with all this beauty she was in no way belittlin'
I'd liken her body to the open riff from Little Wing
Her eyes burned deep with the passion of a nameless chain gang
Lips smart with the vibe of Son of a Preacher Man
She told me how she had evolved over time
We sat in an empty room with just a bed and some wine
We talked for hours about the things she's seen and done but not boastin'
We passed the Zinfandel, raised the glass and just toasting
We had a meeting of minds
She breathed a life in this old brain
She was the milk in my Kahlua
I was the Hartman to her Coltrane
Showed me scars she had acquired each time a genius would depart
Jimi Hendrix on her left hand, Johnny Cash on her heart
Different fingers Mingus, Davis
And her leg scarred for Elvis
Ray Charles on her eyelids
Jim Morrison on her pelvis
Then she asked about me
And my musical stylings
All the things in life I found somewhat inspiring
I paused, the wine making me feel quite cocky
feeling whatever I said she would take in, and not mock me
Said "I'm a wordsmith and artist
I'm deep like the tardist
Every time I aim for something I'm gonna hit the target"
She said "Gangster rap?"
I said "No, but drop the 'g'
You might start to get a better description of me
"Angster rap?" she said
"If it sticks you'll regret that
The most appalling moniker since the dawn of emo rap"

She was a sepia goddess
Yet her demeanour was modest
Her hair was wild like the darkest deepest of forests
Many before me had fallen
at her feet and died
But that night we made a connection and she let me inside

I continue:
Some of these clothes are looking old just like my jaded character
Who thinks an old pro, but sometimes I act like an amateur
This hat's an old classic in the first stage of dilapidation
It's a fair evaluation that its making this equation a little
top heavy if you know what I mean
'cause there's a fine line between a classic and a has-been
As I finished my sentence I noticed the sadness in her eyes
It's moved me, left my mind wondering why
As we laid there she buried her head in my chest
I wrapped my arms around her stroked her with the sweetest caress
I wanted to find the right line to make her sad head lift
Wanted a chance to breathe life back into music like Reggie
Said she'd grown sick
and tired of the same shit
I said if there's anything in the world I can do she should name it
She said sit in public places and quietly observe
All of the speeches mannerisms every action and word
When something inspires me to concentrate on that thing
Get a pen and pad and then produce a vocal offering
She said "Bring the lost art of conversation back
I'm sick to death of awkward silences and all that crap
It's time to talk to one another, share your thoughts and facts
Learn the more of it you give, the more you get right back"
I looked her in the eyes and said I'd do what I could
Then she held my head and kissed me, but not like a lover would
But then, it also wasn't like a close friend or relative
Instead of exciting, it was calming like a spiritual sedative
And then we laid there until I woke in an empty room
If I couldn't still smell her skin I'd be inclined to assume
that I'd dreamt the whole thing but I knew that I hadn't
And I'd seen the perfect balance of beauty and talent
After a moment of reflection I rose to my feet
Opened the door with squinted eyes and stepped back into the street
I kind of staggered home and got out a pen as she'd said
I wrote down my inspiration and here's what it read:

She was a sepia goddess
Yet her demeanour was modest
Her hair was wild like the darkest deepest of forests
Many before me had fallen
at her feet and died
But that night we made a connection and she let me inside

176 hours to go.

Why can't people just fuck off?
There is constantly so much fucking drama.
Uggggggggggggghhhhhh.


:(

< 2 weeks.

'S ba léir, ba léir, 'sé deacair dúinn a rá, 'sé deacair dúinn a rá.
Ach is léir dom, s'léir dom go nglacfaidh sé go leor am agus beagáinín ádh.
'Sé ag tosú dúinn, ag glacadh an céad céim.
Tá sé ag athrú, ag feabhsú muid fhéin.
Meas tú an cuma linn nó an gcreideann muid fós.
Ach seo mar atá dúinn agus b'fhearr linn leanúint ár threo.

This is my Reprise.

You're probably not going to like this post very much. So, before it begins, I'm sorry. I don't mean to keeping voicing (or writing as it were) my opinions on this, but it's getting to me. This is probably a quite aptly titled post too. I know things are fantastic now, and please, just know that I'm not trying to ruin this. But until I see my thoughts in a logical sequence here, I can't begin to stop thinking them.
Though things could literally not be better right now, I can't help but feel sick at the thoughts that a little over three months from now, you're going to be taken from me. Two and a half years of sticking it out through the bad times, in the hope of a "someday", for that to finally get here, and be taken away so easily again doesn't seem fair. And it's not that I don't want you to go. I understand what it means to you, and I'll never stand in the way of that. A new life, new friends, new interests, new past times, a new person? Who knows. That's your decision, which I will endeavour to respect to it's end. But this is a big change. Bigger than we've given it credit for. What if it is too hard? What if things don't work out? What am I left with then? What are we left with? A void, I imagine.
I rely on you. More than you'd realise. Things are. . darker when you're not there. Less clear. But we can make this work, right? Because I need you.

I suck at goodbyes. But you're always there to make things better afterwards. Who do I turn to if it comes down to this?

But then again, maybe I'm being a hypocrite. I want a new start too. I want change.
I want to be a new person. A nice person. Not the one I've been this last while. I want to be me. I hope this works out. Because I don't like me without you.
I love you x

In our short years, we've come a long way, to treat it bad just to throw it away.

I'm an addict for dramatics, I confuse the two for love.

I think things might actually be sorting themselves out. I hope so, that would be nice (:

I literally cannot wait for Saturday. I really need this, and I really want to see you. It'll be so nice (: However, I finally have antibiotics and I'm gonna have to wait 'til Sunday to take them :( That's one of my top five favourites songs down thurr. Plz listen.

Two sides twist and then collide.
You're calling off the guards, I'm coming through. Am I coming through?
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission,
"You know sometimes it just feels better to give in".
Sometimes it just feels better to give in.

And it's all too familiar, and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.

Dull heat rises from the sheets,
See, I'm both a patient boy. and a jealous man
. Am I coming?
But double standardarized suspicion is remedied,
Oh My Blue Heaven
"Sometimes it just feels better to give in..."
Sometimes it just feels better to give in.

And it's all too familiar and it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.

We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
You're safe, child, you are safe.
You're safe, child, you are safe.

We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
You're safe, child, you are..

You are safe..
We swing and we sway
as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe"
Am I.. coming through?

Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me;
Could you please just once just hear me?
More than anything, you wanted to be right
Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny..
You I can't deny.
It's you I can't deny.

I love Dixon Bainbridge.

I don't ever want to hate you,
So don't show me your bed.
'The only roads are cul-de-sacs's,
The first thing that she said.

Temptation, greets you like your naughty mate.
The one that used to get you in bother,
The one you could never bring yourself to hate.

And she said we've got that spark,
That only lights a fuse.
Helps you see in the dark,
But it's a sight you'll lose when,
The temptation greets you like your naughty friend.

I don't ever want to hate you,
So don't show me your bed,
The only roads are cul-de-sacs,
The only ends are dead.

Temptation greets you like your naughty mate,
Tne that made you steal and set things on fire,
The one you haven't seen of late.

And I said that kind of talk,
Only adds intrigue,
To the cauldron of thought.
It's already exceeding
Temptation, the very thing that held her back.

I don't ever want to hate you,
So don't show me your bed,
The only roads are cul-de-sacs,
The only ends are dead.

I don't ever want to hate you,
It's not part of the plan,
So keep your charm where I can't see it,
And your hands where I can.

And you'll be amazed at the secrets I keep.

Happiness, more or less.
It's just a change in me, something in my liberty.

Saving Bebo photos. Yeah, me too. So many memories. Still can't bring myself to delete it though. I was always so anti-deleting your Bebo. Just stop using it like.

Look at my long luscious hair. Eww.


"My uncle once punched a man so hard his legs became trombones."

30 Seconds to Mars.

I don't really know what it is, but I'm falling in love with all these "shit" bands again. 30 Seconds to Mars, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance and The Used are some of my favourite bands at the moment. I don't care how gay it is, to be honest. They have good songs, and surely that matters more than their somewhat homosexual appearances?

I appreciate friends a lot at the moment too. Recent events have made me crave mundanity again. I place too much emphasis on leading a more dynamic life, but you don't appreciate what you have then. It's like spending all week looking forward to the weekend. We all do it sometimes, but the weekend accounts for 28% of your life. There's 72% of your existance being effectively wished away, and it just seems a little ungrateful, I don't know, I just want this to be sorted and everyone to just be safe, but you're too selfish for that. :/

I won't suffer, be broken,
get tired or wasted,
surrender to nothing.
Or give up what I started,
and stop this,
from end to beginning,
a new day is coming,

And I am finally free.

Fuck this.

I'm so sick of everything going wrong. And no one even contemplating everything not being my fault. You actually could not be more mistaken, and I'd give anything to tell you, to make you feel like this, but I can't do that to people.

Last night was strange. It was intended to be a relieving night. To escape. But no, as usual, drama prevailed and enveloped the night. However, much of said drama died down until I suffered an excruciating blow from Tadhg Walsh. In a fit of shit-phone-induced-rage, his phone was hurled to the ground and he proceeded to stamp on it, as though it were some fiery monster. After noticing this, I thought "You're gonna need tha' for a taxi, boi.". However, in trying to salvage what was left of the phone, my hand became involved in the raucous and was repeatedly stamped on 'til I could no longer bend my fingies.
Adamant to not be hindered by such a disability and be subsequently forced to carry no more than two plates at a time in work the following day, I, in my inebriated state, fashioned a splint to keep my fingers straight. And of course, we only have the best medical equipment in my house. The only straight finger length object available from the drawers I looked in was Pritt stick. So, armed with industrial strength duct tape and my aforementioned Pritt stick, I set about affixing my fingers to this tube of adhesive with even more adhesive. Not everything had been considered though. Bear in mind, I had found my raw materials, if you will, in the kitchen and as such, was still fully dressed so the problems began to multiply from there on in. I survived though, wha'?

I hope things can get better soon, 'cause I just can't keep this up. De réir a chéíle a thógtar na caisleáin, áfach.

"Well it rains, when it rains.
Oh, my heart don't feel the same.
There's a sun in my sky,
You don't see it, or even try."

Shit.

Y'know when you're saying goodbye to someone and it's like
"See ya."
"Mind yourself."
Doesn't 'mind yourself' seem a little passive aggressive and threatening?

Jesus died for somebody's sins,
but God knows he didn't die for mine.
'Cause I'll stand accountable for my own damn sins,
each and every time.

Foxtrot Mike Lima.

Camping? Probably not. Huge disappointment to be quite honest. I was really looking forward to it. Guess I'll just make the most of Friday night. Fucking work Saturday though. It literally ruins everything. And I know I shouldn't be complaining about having a job. But it's hard when you're in school 8:30 to 5:30 Monday to Friday, to give up your entire weekend as well. Not to mention trying to study.

You are ruining everything at the moment. Every plan we have, you find yourself intertwined in. Not only are you de-sensitised to invitations (I wouldn't be too pissed off if misunderstandings were the cause of your constant presence) you never have the decency to even mention your irrefutable attendance. And how fucking ungrateful can you be? You're so ignorant. I wish you'd just fuck off. Or at least, grow. the. fuck. up. But, your worst attribute, by far, is how you affect me. And how your bullshit, for want of a better word, affects my worthwhile relationships. There are people I care about. And you, most certainly, are not one of them.

I'm sorry for the way things have been lately. How I haven't been. . me.
I hope things can get back to normal soon. Because no one means as much to me as you do. And nothing will ever change that. I cannot wait for this whole Leaving Cert. shit to be over, but when it is, what happens then? Are we just looking forward to this obstacle being averted? However, in turn, another one draws closer. The biggest obstacle of all. Probably the biggest obstacle we'll ever face. And, I'm finally realising, this is what I've been dreading all along. That three years later, three years of work, three years of pain and three years of consistent fighting to find ourselves in the position we're in and then, we're effectively back to day one? That's not fair. It really, really isn't.

You're all I want, you're all I need.
You are the one for me.
You hold me close, you hold me near.
You are the one for me.
The pain I feel when you leave.
You are the one for me.
You're all I want, you're all I see.
You are the one for me.

Five Minutes.

Each night she lays quivering, shivering here.
Asking why she keeps forgiving him, hidden in fear.
At work she has a glistening, driven career,
But at home with one swing of the fist it disappears.

She dreams of different ways of breaking free from his noose.
Its one thing to see a path but it's another to choose it.
Its one thing to want to run but its another to do it,
Its one thing to buy a gun; but its another to use it.

But buy a gun she did and it made her feel good.
She told herself if she really had to use it she would.
The next night, drunk at the bed he stood,
She said she'd take it no more and she vaguely understood.

But he didn't take too kindly to being put in his place.
She fled after the first blow and of course, he gave chase.
She sat hunched, holding a gun praying she wasn't pursued,
But when the door swung a route, He found her to shoot.

She watched in awe as his power cascaded on the floor.
It wasn't long before the police came bursting through the door.
In store, put in prison, enforced by the law,
As she lay out a whisper, lay distracted on the floor;

For the bad times, I wish you'd just admit and never cast a shadow across my bed.
But for the good times, I wish you five minutes in Heaven before the Devil knows you're dead.
For the bad times, I wish you'd just admit and never cast a shadow across my bed.
But for the good times I wish you five minutes in Heaven before the Devil knows you're dead.

Each night she lays quivering, shivering there,
I wonder how we came to live in unforgiving despair,
I find myself giving the delivering stares,
As the smell of Glennfidich starts sieving the air.

As the bullet flew towards me I swear time stood still.
I felt every single emotion that a man could feel.
How did I get here? How could this even be real?
How could I become a person that a loved one could kill?

It wasn't always this way, I once saw love in those eyes.
That now just despise and chastise all my lies.
As my sarcastic replies each new drunken guise,
And first of all these heavy hands which surmised her demise.

There was a time when we never thought the honeymoon would end,
She was my wife, my love my confidant and my friend.
But it seems these days happiness can depend,
On financial stability, and the need to contend.

But I make no excuse, I let it get this way.
Other people live their lives on the minimum wage.
I was the one that couldn't cope and let it turn to rage,
Now I'm looking down the barrel, playing against the game.

For the bad times I cannot be acquitted or let off, as the bullet enters my head,
For the good times I wish for five minutes in Heaven before the Devil knows I'm dead.
For the bad times I cannot be acquitted or let off, as the bullet enters my head,
For the good times I wish for five minutes in Heaven before the Devil knows I'm dead.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea. . you never get that tea.

I have finally found a course I'm actually interested in. Fantastic. Because, as you all surely know, I'm as decisive as a squirrel with ADD. . on speed. Where is it, you ask? Why, I'll tell you. Farnham. Near fucking Bristol. Bye bye Motor Journalism. It was a beautiful, if short lived dream.

When you post something to your blog, and it gives you the option of tagging certain things, I must ask, why is "scooters" one of the examples? I honestly have never read a scooter blog. However, I'm finding myself more and more frequently reading motoring blogs. Ergo, the above mentioned course would have been amazing. Like, work experience with Top Gear. Does it get any fucking better?

Tell ya what I hate? How I try to make a serious effort with this blog, and then I remember, I have 12 followers, and, I imagine, fewer actual readers.

Pre results are slowly trickling back in.
70% in honours biology, I could have cried.
53% in honours English, I could have cried. With equal but opposite intensity.

Tell ya what else I hate? Nobody says 'terrific' any more. And I know, I know, I've expressed my displeasure at this numerous times in the past, but it's nice like, innit?

I do love Jimmy Carr.
"Throwing acid is wrong. . . in some people's eyes."
"Swimming is good for you. Especially when you're drowning. 'Not only did I get a cardio-vascular workout, I didn't die'."
"A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."
Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

There is literally nothing more satisfying than watching a comedy show where a heckler gets pwn'd.

Yes, another one.

Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols, or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, John Hartmond, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrisson, Jimmy Hendrix or Sid Barrett in vain.
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.
Thou shalt not question Steven Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.
Thou shalt not judge lethal weapon by Danny Glover.
Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs, and then cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants... use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar, week in, week out 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied; that you're never gonna fucking talk to anyway.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals.
No matter how great they are, or were.
The Beatles were just a band.
Led Zeppelin, just a band.
The Beach Boys, just a band..
The Sex Pistols, just a band.
The Clash, just a band.
Crass, just a band.
Minor Threat, just a band.
The Cure, just a band.
The Smiths , just a band.
Nirvana, just a band.
The Pixies, just a band.
Oasis, just a band.
Radiohead, just a band.
Bloc Party, just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys, just a band.
"The next big thing", just a band.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the 4 elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.
Thou shalt not Pimp My Ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say "Hey", thou shalt not say "Ho"
When I say "Hip", thou shalt not say "Hop"
When I say, he say, she say, we say; "Make some noise.", kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me.
Thou shalt spell the word "Phoenix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X. Not, P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying; "Izziiit".
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And most importantly, thou shalt always, thou shalt always, kill.

But then again, the future ain't what it used to be.

I feel weird, and sentimental. I don't know what's happening. Maybe I'm. . Maybe I'm gay :| Awh shit, I hope not.

Don't you love when your life just becomes enveloped in music? Like, every aspect of my existance has its respective soundtrack at the moment.

Little known fact: I love it when bagels have no hole in the middle.

Can't wait to get the new Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip album. Waiting years for this. So, in typical uncreative me tradition, I leave you with a series of lyrics which will undoubtedly leave you inspired enough to go buy The Logic of Chance.

When you forget about the hand you're dealt,
All that really matters is the things you've felt.

What do you mean keep it real? Could someone please explain,
when reality's just light interpreted by your brain.

These kids getting above their stations and saying,
they're a vessel through which a higher power's conveying.
"My lyrical content is a miracle God sent."
My name is Scroobius Pip and I say 'fuck all that nonsense'.
Their lyrical prognosis is like spiritual osmosis.
In that everything they say evaporates into boasts, it's a joke.




As I finally walk away I say goodbye and good health,
as I finally walk away I wish you all you wish yourself.
As I finally walk away I say goodbye and good health,
as I finally walk away I wish you all you wish yourself.

Can't help but feel I should be in school.

So, I'm "sick", and subsequently have a morning off to avoid Physical Education. I am sick, I suppose. Just can't be listening to FOB again. 'Cause, let's face it, I wasn't going to do PE if I went in anyway. So instead of producing something worthwhile and productive, (and we all know how I feel about my application to a serious amount of studying) I'm going to update you all on how my new car is going. Not that any single one of you give a shit, but, y'know.

After much painful deliberation, I have decided on a colour. Chrome Orange, inspired by the BA Ford Falcon XR6. It's more a light shade of red than orange, to be fair. But in the right light, it's a perfect accompaniment to a set of white wheels. 16" imitation Rays, with Pirelli P Zeros, have also been procured:



Some distress has been encountered with regard to the front splitter, though. It seems almost beyond repair, and as such a new bumper is required. However, after several months of sourcing a front bumper, and amazingly finding a 98 spec half destroyed one, I am not willing to go find another. The splitter is the cancerous limb of the project which must be severed. Numerous sleepless nights have been lost over this decision, but ultimately, for the projects progression, it must be done. That last bit was bullshit, by the way, but I will miss it, like.

All that remains to be found, is a set of, again, 98 spec, rear clusters. Preferably in white and red, as these subtle tones, as well as their cleaner, neater lines, compliment the smooth Japanese styling of the overall car. All in all, in a matter of weeks, I hope to have achieved something to the effect of the picture below, except more importantly built, not bought.

This is the way I wanted it to be with you, This is the way I knew that it would be with you.

"Three years? Are ye not sick o' each other!?"
Evidently not, you wankers.

Three years tomorrow. And it's honestly never once felt boring or monotonous or anything other than right.
It hasn't always been easy, but it's always worked. And well. This last year has been the best, by far. Not that I'd ever change any of the others, mind. Just like you, I'd never change you, and I'd never change us. Everything has been so perfect. The multitude of ups, and the few and scarcely memorable downs.
I want you, I need you, I love you, forever. I've never felt this lucky.
You are now, and always will be, my best friend.

To call for hands above, to lean on, wouldn't be good enough for me, no.



xiii iii mmvii <3

Coming clean.

I'm sick of hiding my feelings. Time to admit it. I love My Chemical Romance. Lololololol. And I'm not the only one. This is a revolution. A re-revolution. If there's such thing? Idk. Basically, it's all coming back, innit?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh <3





It's been too long <3

I'm not going to look back.

So glad this is nearly over. Although, I do prefer exams to school. However, this is getting a bit much. Can not wait for Friday. Yaaaay.

Please allow me to introduce myself,
I'm a man of wealth and taste.
I've been around for a long, long year.
Stole many a man's soul and faith.

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ,
Had his moment of doubt and pain.
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate.

Pleased to meet you.
Hope you guess my name.
But what's puzzling you,
Is the nature of my game.

I stuck around St. Petersburg,
When I saw it was a time for a change.
Killed the Czar and his ministers,
Anastasia screamed in vain.

I rode a tank,
Held a general's rank,
When the Blitzkrieg raged,
And the bodies stank.

Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah.
Ah, what's puzzling you,
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah.

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens,
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made.

I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all,
It was you and me.

Let me please introduce myself,
I'm a man of wealth and taste.
And I laid traps for troubadours,
Who get killed before they reached Bombay.

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name.
But what's puzzling you,
Is the nature of my game.

Just as every cop is a criminal,
And all the sinners saints.
As heads is tails,
Just call me Lucifer,
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint.

So if you meet me,
Have some courtesy.
Have some sympathy, have some taste.
Use all your well-learned politesse,
Or I'll lay your soul to waste.

Tell me baby, what's my name?
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name?
Tell me baby, what's my name?
I tell you one time, you're to blame

Haemoglobin is the key to a healthy heartbeat.

Too tired for all this nonsense. What is this? I don't get tired, ever. .

Spent so much money this week. However, I finaly have all the parts for my new car: headlights; bonnet; front bumper; side skirts; rear bumper; boot; spoiler and lowering springs. Coming to a grand total of €600. And paint at that price or more on top of the original price is scaring me. FML. This better be worth it.

Still need wheels. Advan SA3Rs would be immense:


Suggestions for a colour? I think Imperial Blue. Much like this, if a little less pixelated:


Hate those nights when everyone is out and you're stuck in 'cause you went out last weekend and as such are subsequently low on financial resources and end up hearing about it for weeks to come.

Such a nice day today, and, ultimately a nice weekend. Even if I did waste another full tank of petrol. But it was all worth it to see you, as always. I love you <3

I leave you with one of my favourite songs at the moment:

You're the one who's always choking Trojan.
You're the one who's always bruised and broken.
Sleep may be the enemy,
But so's another line.
It's a remedy,
You should take more time.

You're the one who's always choking trojan.
You're the one whose shower's always golden.
Spunk & bestiality, well it's an Assisi lie,
It's ahead of me.
You should close your fly.

I understand the fascination,
The dream that comes alive at night.
But if you don't change your situation,
Then you'll die, you'll die, don't die, don't die.
Please don't die.

You're the one who's always choking trojan.
You're the one who's always bruised and broken.
Drunk on immorality,
Valium and cherry wine.
Coke and ecstasy,
You're gonna blow your mind.

I understand the fascination.
I've even been there once or twice,
But if you don't change your situation,
Then you'll die, you'll die, don't die, don't die
Please don't die.

It's in the water, baby.

Ahhh, I love my life, boi. I'm honestly the happiest I've ever been, and it's all because of you. You make everything right, and you don't even know you're doing it. You're all I'll ever want. I love the instant happiness I still get when I see you, three years later. The people we've become. All our jokes. Nomming. Our combined, somewhat unexplained hatred of the dancing girl on DJH. How it just feels right. How this will all be changing soon, but it's going to be ok. Because it's bigger than this. Being myself. Eating the whole thing. "LOVING" the clunge. Holidays. You'll never know how much I need you.

Someday somebody's gonna ask you, a question that you should say 'yes' to, once in your life. Baby, tonight, I've got a question for you.

I love you, always. x

I love you.

If you've got dreams in your heart
why don't you share them with me?
And if dreams don't come true,
I'll make sure that your nightmares
are through.

If you got pain in your heart,
why don't you share it with me?
And we'll just wait and see
if it's half what it used to be.

And lay it down slow.
Lay it down free.
Lay it down easy,
but lay it on me.

If you've got love in your heart
why don't you keep it with mine?
I can't promise a miracle,
but I'll always be trying.

And lay it down slow.
Lay it down free.
Lay it down easy,
but lay it on me.

Lay it down easy.
Lay it on me.

Lay it down easy,
but lay it on me.



x

Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They’re relentless.


I was walking by a dry-cleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said "Sorry, we’re closed." You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3a.m. and your a dry-cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey, I was here at 3 a.m. and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.".


I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member of the club, man. I dont know how I get away with it!


<3>

What is the physical embodiment of irony?

She reads a book from across the street,
Waiting for someone that she'll never meet.
Talk over coffee for an hour or two,
She wonders why I'm always in a good mood.
Killin' time before she struts her stuff,
She needs support and I've become the crutch.
She'll never know how much she means to me.
I'd play the game but I'm the referee.

This school business isn't getting any easier. I want to study, I really do. But, try as I may, there seems to be no turning this leaf over. Or perhaps it's a double-sided lazy leaf. I don't know. I just wish it'd fuck off. English is really grinding my gears. When in life will you be posed with a situation in which you have to write a four page essay on a previously unheardof topic in one hour with no form of research?

Maybe I'm tempting fate though. Maybe I'll do excellently in the essay and excell in all aspects of life and put this all behind me. Until one day I awaken to find a gun pointed to my head. An ultimatum. Write a four page essay on a previously unheardof topic in one hour with no form of research, or die. Then, and only then, will I accept that the Leaving Certificate is not completely irrelevant. Fuck my life.

"Midnight. And the sky lays cracked and broken overhead. The sepia-toned skyline, a mere memory of the majestic vision it once was. Droplets of precipitation permeate the desolate holes in the atmosphere above, and fall like pearls of heaven, cleansing the complexions of those revelling below. A new era is born."

MLIG :')

Actually had the best weekend ever. And it's not even over! It was beautiful.
"I'm going on American Idol to redeem myself for robbing a bank with a BB gun." Lmao.
We Will Rock You was so good. "Oh. . . Alright then.".

I'm not leaving. I'm not going.
I'm not kissing you goodbye.
On my own.
I'm nothing, just bleeding.
I'm not kissing you goodbye.

Don't let me go.
Don't say goodbye.
'Cause you know that I'm not alive.
Don't let me go.
Don't say goodbye.
Don't let this love die.

Have you ever had someone that you couldn't live without? And not that fake "iily 4eva until my next girlfriend comes along". Like, properly. Someone you'd do anything for, regardless of the outcome? Someone who's always you're best friend. And someone who you've always really known you'll be with forever. I have that. And have had it for 2 years and 10 months now.
I love you, forever. x

Get Better.

Imagine a song, that really reached out and touched kids,
and not in a Daily Mail way, innocence corrupted.
But in a way where criticism remained constructive,
and wasn't too politicised and children weren't instructed
to behave in a way that was unrealistic.
Or made out the way they live was somehow sick and twisted,
but simply pointed out reasons to get it together,
not shouting "get a job", but just saying:

Get better, get better, get better, get better.
Get better, get better, get.
Get better, get better, get better, get better.
Get better,
get better,
get better, get better, get better.
Get better, get better, get.
Get better, get better, get better,
get better.

You see the young mother capital is where I live,
little kids being raised by slightly bigger kids.
Society seems un-phased that this is how it is,
while I'm constantly amazed that this is how it is.
They confuse love at first sight with lust at first light.
It must have hurt right when trust first took flight,
you're young, you've no rights, you long for new heights.
But some of those nights leave more than love bites,
tops cropped, skirts stop at the top of their thighs,
and the boy's got that hungry look in their eyes.
They wanna be grown up and have respect you see,
but they're acting uneducated, sexually.
I ain't saying' be celibate,
go out and have your fun,
but there's plenty you can do without impregnation.
And there ain't nothing wrong at all with having children,
just build yourself a little before you try to build them.
and

Get better, get better, get better, get better.
Get better, get better, get.
Get better, get better, get better, get better.
Get better,
get better,
get better, get better, get better.
Get better, get better, get.
Get better, get better, get better,
get better.

I see small town syndrome, growing in size.
There's not a lot to do, so the kids they decide,
to get drunk every night, a glazed eyes disguise.
Do drugs every night, tired from their lives.
People getting off their faces for a quiet night in,
kids rolling around the streets rowing and fighting.
But it's all just because life ain't too exciting,
and it's easier than trying to do the right thing.
But there are other choices - if you want them.
you don't have to tow the line and just float with the flotsam,
you can build your time better when you find a passion.
The Internet and public services give free education.
So it really ain't a case of rich or poor,
it's a case of self-motivation and nothing more.
Like Billy says, "Whether you have or you have not wealth,
the system might fail you, but don't fail yourself.".
just. .

Get better.

Angry blog post? This is indeed a first.

Leaving Certificate, you can actually just go die somewhere.
Studying, or lack thereof, see your demise above.
Indecisiveness about new car.
College!? Don't get me started, boi.
Someone tell me what I want from my fucking life.

"I just want this to be over." has become my most used phrase of late. And to be honest, that's no way to live really, is it? And I know that might sound a bit dramatic, but I couldn't care less.

And I can't blog any more. I can't do fucking anything.

"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Just get me that car, for fuck sake.

Get down from there, coffee.

I am on the verge of insanity. I don't even know how many days it's been since I haven't spent all day in my house. My days currently consist of soup, hilariously named Facebook groups, Prison Break, Prototype and sleeping bags. I've watched two whole series of Prison Break, and almost completed Prototype in a week. This is not me. Therefore, I am reaching out to someone, anyone, to offer me an alternative. I am more than open to suggestions.

On the bright side, however, I haven't had work since last Saturday. This is an exciting prospect indeed.

100 times their normal size. Insane.

It's our time to shine through the down.

It would appear my well of blogging conceptions is well and truly dry. So what does one do when faced with this plight? Talk about shit, really.

Last day of Christmas holidays. Wonderful. Back to early mornings. By which I mean 8:40, but that's not the point, is it? I've grown accustomed to the freedom brought about by Christmas, which was pretty excellent this year, to be honest. Oxegen '10 :')

Awh, love snow.