No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea. . you never get that tea.

I have finally found a course I'm actually interested in. Fantastic. Because, as you all surely know, I'm as decisive as a squirrel with ADD. . on speed. Where is it, you ask? Why, I'll tell you. Farnham. Near fucking Bristol. Bye bye Motor Journalism. It was a beautiful, if short lived dream.

When you post something to your blog, and it gives you the option of tagging certain things, I must ask, why is "scooters" one of the examples? I honestly have never read a scooter blog. However, I'm finding myself more and more frequently reading motoring blogs. Ergo, the above mentioned course would have been amazing. Like, work experience with Top Gear. Does it get any fucking better?

Tell ya what I hate? How I try to make a serious effort with this blog, and then I remember, I have 12 followers, and, I imagine, fewer actual readers.

Pre results are slowly trickling back in.
70% in honours biology, I could have cried.
53% in honours English, I could have cried. With equal but opposite intensity.

Tell ya what else I hate? Nobody says 'terrific' any more. And I know, I know, I've expressed my displeasure at this numerous times in the past, but it's nice like, innit?

I do love Jimmy Carr.
"Throwing acid is wrong. . . in some people's eyes."
"Swimming is good for you. Especially when you're drowning. 'Not only did I get a cardio-vascular workout, I didn't die'."
"A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."
Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

There is literally nothing more satisfying than watching a comedy show where a heckler gets pwn'd.